Connecting Hands.
As therapeutic relationships have formed and evolved with individuals within my long-term care practice (and particularly with those residents struggling with dementia), I have witnessed over the years how often the hand becomes a grounding, therapeutic connection. Hands hold the implicit felt-sense and body memory related to these connections and then develop as a bridging link to memory, feelings, and remembered self for future interactions and engagement.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I have witnessed that when meaningful relationship connections are shaped and forged, residents begin to offer their hands to me without any prompting. When I entered the communal space on the Dementia unit once a week, staff would enthusiastically introduce me to those in the room; ”Here is April to take you to the art therapy group”...
As I viewed expressions and responses, I could see that these spoken words no longer held the same meaning to individuals at this stage in their Dementia journey. When I approached and moved closer to each of them, they recognized me (and/or the connection we had). The residents often lifted their arms and reached out their hands to hold mine directing and initiating the experience of a felt-sense, inviting shared engagement.
This beautiful gesture of connection and sensory communication continues to move me to this day. Although many of these dear souls could not remember my name or my role in their lives specifically, they had the visual cues and felt-sense to guide them to their internal awareness of the relationship connection that existed. After offering my hand to them within the therapeutic frame of the art therapy modality, they now not only offered their hands back to me but frequently reached out to request that connection whenever I walked by or entered their space. No words needed.
“Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch.”